Nostalgia.

•June 27, 2012 • Leave a Comment

First and foremost, I want to say thank you to all those who are reading my blog and following me. I have been really surprised by the amount of views I have been getting as of late. It really actually makes me pretty special. I had no idea that so many people were interested in what I had to say. And from what the site statistics show, only a small amount of my views are coming from my Facebook friends. Which means!! That people I am not close friends with have been reading my blog, liking my posts, and following me. I have to say, it is pretty exciting. It almost makes me feel bad for not updating about anything in particular the last few days (or anything at all, for that matter). I will do better!

Lately, I have been trying to step up my A game when it comes to working out. I have working out every day this week, and my body is really starting to feel it. I am kind of learning to love it, though. Oddly. In fact, I feel really invigorated right now. I can’t wait to go out and either go for a walk outside or go jog at the gym. Or something. Either way, I am way excited. I feel so much more healthy. I feel better. Which is nice, because before I was always really tired and depressed feeling. I know I can do this whole get myself in shape thing. And I am going to stick to it, even though it is really hard to see results sometimes. I am going to start eating better and I am going to feel better. It is going to be great. I am not going to eat processed foods anymore and I am going to stick to lean meats, fish, and the occasional low fat beef (cause I kinda love read meat). Wish me luck!

Anyway, let me get to what I actually wanted to write about today; nostalgia. Lately, I have been watching a lot of chose that I used to love when I was a kid. Some of them kind of suck, I am not going to lie, but I really enjoy feeling like a kid again. I love to just kick back, watch my favorite corny TV show and laugh and cry and sigh along. It really takes me back, as crazy and cliche as that probably sounds. I know I am really young by most standards, but I have so much responsibility right now, that it just feels so great to do something not serious for a little while.

Right now, my show of choice if Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I know, totally corny, but I love it! Mostly because it has all the right elements to make a totally cheesy, but absolutely obsess-worthy show. I especially love that Buffy is such a kick ass (though, admittedly a little dumb sometimes), strong female character. She makes me feel like I can go out and kick vampire butt too. It is really empowering. Plus, all the hot guys. Angel and Spike? Hello! Talk about remembering all my teenaged celebrity crushes!!

Sometime this week, I am going to make myself a nice cup of tea (or hot coacoa if I am feeling frisky) and watch tons of episodes of Buffy. I am just going to curl up in my nice cool room, wrapped in a blanket and spend some time enjoying all the corny things that make me happy. To hell with being mature every day! It is time for some me time!

I think I really love the feeling of nostalgia because I, personally, only really get nostalgic about happy memories. And it is really nice to relive the feelings of the nice memories. Especially in a time when I am not particularly satisfied with myself and my life in general. In fact, experiencing joy from past memories has really helped me start to get out of this funk that I have been feeling lately. Sometimes, it is really easy to get caught up in all the problems of my life that I totally forget the positives. And nostalgia really helps me to slow down and relive those memories.

But, of course, it is bitter sweet. Because there is always that part of me that is sad those memories are past. And many of them can’t be relived again. I can’t ever rewind my life and feel and see and experience the same things. It is really a depressing thought, but one that motivates me to make my present worthwhile and my future bright.

Today is going to be a good day.

XOXO

-Cheryl

 

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Hang Overs.

•June 22, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I went out with my best friend last night. She needed a wing woman, and I couldn’t help but to oblige. The only thing is I started taking this new medication that does not mix well with alcohol. And I am still trying to figure out what my new tolerance is. I got a little drunk… and then a lot drunk. But, it is okay! Because I was an amazing wing woman (my friend got the number of a really hot, smart bartender with a great ass) and we all had fun. But, of course, there is a downside to every great story that starts with alcohol; the hang over.

Now, I never used to get hang overs. So, this whole experience is new to me. This hang over that I am currently experiencing is literally like the third one I have ever had in my life. The other two happened like last week (I feel like such an alcoholic saying that). I can only assume that my medication really alters the way my body processes alcohol, which causes me to have a hang over. In the end, I will probably have to quit drinking (which shouldn’t be that difficult, since I don’t really drink THAT much). Regardless, last week I suddenly woke up to my first hang over ever, and then I had another, and another this morning. Now, I am pretty new at this whole experience, but I am a pretty busy girl who can’t really be held back by hang overs. I work full time and have a pretty full plate as far as my social life goes.

This morning, I needed to get up for work at seven when I went to bed at 2am. Plus, you know, hang over! But, I am currently at work feeling so much better. I found a few things that really help me feel better. So much so that on Saturday I was able to go out for a nice long walk, go on a date, and function as a totally normal person. I don’t know if my methods will work for everyone, but I thought I would share them just because I am bored as hell at work, and I am constantly hearing people complain about how hang overs are.

So, I start by forcing myself to get out of bed. Of course, you can just lay there and be lazy if you want to, but sometimes we just have things that need to get done. Being lazy is really great when you have the time to be (coming from the queen of free time laziness). Anyway, once you get out of bed, shower! I like a hot shower, but some people swear that a cold shower is better for the hang over. But! Whatever the temperature, go force yourself to shower and then get dressed. If the hang over is particularly bad, it is okay to take little breaks and lay down in between the shower and the getting dressed. Just take it slow and do your best.

One of the most important things to make sure you do is eat and drink. I know that sometimes the mere thought of food makes your stomach turn when you are hung over, but dealing with a hang over on an empty stomach is so much worse! I have to say that one of my favorite things for when I have a hang over is milk. I know it sounds kind of nasty, but I drink a big ol’ glass of milk and I almost magically feel better. In fact, I tried all kinds of food to settle my stomach and milk just seemed to work the best for me. Another miracle worker that I turn to is Progresso soup. First of all, it is way easy to make (just pour it in a bowl and heat), so you won’t have to worry about any prep in your hung over state. Second, it is delicious and actually not all that bad for you considering! It is nice and warm and will fill your tummy.

The last thing that I can’t stress enough is to drink water! Alcohol is extremely dehydrating and your body is going to be crying out for some good old fashion H2O! Drink like a fish! I promise that the more water your drink, the faster your body will forgive you for pickling your liver! Water is the best thing for you to drink at pretty much any time (even when not hung over)! Your body needs it, and it can really help to flush some of the bad stuff out.

Anyway, that is all for now!

XOXO

-Cheryl

Confrontation.

•June 21, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Today is a very Poison themed day. I am still in my 80’s music kick. I have been really wanting to see Poison for the past few years. I grew up with them. I am pretty sure my dad owns like every cassette of theirs, despite the fact that we have absolutely nothing in the house that can play cassettes anymore. I love their music, and most of their songs. I must admit that Unskinny Bop doesn’t make much sense to me, but I think that is the only one that I don’t know. Regardless, I have been rocking out in my office all day to Poison and it totally makes me feel invincible. I am pretty sure I am going to talk my dad into going to see them with me and then splurging a bit on some tickets. Who knows. I want to go have a good time and rock out to amazing music. Cause, lets be honest, bands really aren’t up to par these days.

Anyway, this blog entry is really about confrontation. I wanted to write it because lately I have found myself really wanting to avoid confronting my problems even though action very clearly needs to be taken. As I said, I have been dating a bit, so obviously, there are going to be those people that you just don’t really want to see again, or at all. And, in my every day life, I sometimes let people have their way just because I can’t muster up the might to tell them no. For instance, when I was a teenager, my mother would always try to guilt me into lender her money (which she would never pay back). I would always want to tell her no, but I could never bring myself to do it. And I realized that I am not really the only person who has problems like that. So, I thought I would at least share some stories where I actually did stand up for myself and list some of my tips and tricks.

So, recently, I had to turn someone down. And at first I felt bad, because he is a really nice guy, but the sparks just did not fly. Besides, I am not really looking to tie myself down just right now. At first I was really nervous about doing this, and took to avoiding him instead. Which was even weirder, because then he kept asking if I was okay. And that was really weird and also slightly annoying. and I realized that I was just getting really and upset over the situation. I would avoid my phone and get anxious every time I got a text message, thinking it was him and wondering what I should say when it finally came down to it.

Finally, I just told him that I didn’t think that things were going to work out between us. I told him that I didn’t think we had that spark. And I didn’t really particularly want another date in general. While I was doing it, it was really scary for me. And his reaction was not as bad as I thought it would be, but also not what I would have ideally wanted. Of course, the situation could have been better, but it could also have been a lot worse. And it was better for me to do it then, rather than waiting. If I let it go on and let the feelings grow, I would have led him on and I am sure the reaction would have been far worse. AND! When I finally got it off my chest, I felt so much better. It was like I could have my phone and not be afraid of who it was going to be. Today, I took a deep breath and just felt okay, whereas before I was completely overwhelmed with exhaustion and anxiety. I feel so much better about the whole situation, in contrast to a situation I handled much more poorly, which I still feel bad about. Rather than confront the person, I just blocked their number and kind of hid from any sort of interactions between us. And I am pretty sure he hates me for it, which makes me feel horrible.

The point of this really is that even though confrontation is really difficult sometimes, it is absolutely necessary. Plus, it doesn’t always have to be a negative confrontation. No matter what happens, a situation resolved is better than one that is left open to fester and create tension and anxiety. Clearly, I am still working on my technique, but here are some of the things I do to relieve my anxiety about necessary confrontation:

First, take a deep breath. I find it extremely hard to think about a situation when I am totally stressed out about it. So, I like to just sit down, take a nice deep breath, and maybe curl up with a good book. Just get your mind off the issue for a while. It will make it much easier to return to the subject later and think on it with a clearer mind.

Second, write down your thoughts on the situation. Most of the time, I would find that when I finally did work up the balls to finally initiate the conversation, I would have no idea what to say. And then when all was said and done, I would completely realize that I forgot to mention huge chunks of what I wanted to say. That is probably one of the most frustrating things in the world for me. So, I normally take some time to just write down my thoughts. That way, I at least have a guideline for what I want to say, and I won’t forget anything

Third, don’t go into the conversation with any emotions. Don’t talk to the person until you are completely done with being annoyed or upset or sad or whatever it is you are with them. I have gone into conversations like these angry so many times and it never turns out the way I want it to. Just try to be as cool, collected, and understanding as you can.

And lastly, if you hurt a person’s feelings, it is okay to feel bad about it, but try not to dwell on it too much. Chances are, you telling them the truth was the best thing that could have happened. And in the end, the situation will set its self to rights. Of course, you may have to give that person some space, and that is okay. Because you, personally, did nothing wrong. It is always important to remember that there is nothing wrong with telling the truth so long as you do it in the right way.

Well, I am done rambling for now.

XOXO

Cheryl

Joan Jett.

•June 20, 2012 • Leave a Comment

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I have to say, Joan Jett has always been one of my idols. I have been back on a Joan Jett kick lately (probably mostly because I have been really into early/classic rock lately). And when I think about all the things Joan Jett did and still does, I can’t help but be inspired by her.

For starters, Joan is a total badass. From the way she dresses to the way she carries herself and fights for the things she believes in. I think that Joan’s dedications to her political and social beliefs is absolutely astonishing. She does everything with a passion. Joan is at like every single Peta rally, and while I think Peta is way over the top sometimes, she is really dedicated to standing up for her beliefs. I think that everyone should live their life the way Joan Jett did and does. Women need to realize more often that we have a lot more power than we think. Most women back down with little to no fight. I see so many submissive women who aren’t happy because their voices are never heard. I think that a lot of women these days can use Joan as an example of empowerment. Here is a woman who became totally famous when women were very rarely seen on the rock scene, and is now referred to as the ‘Queen of Rock and Roll’. And quite frequently, too.

Further, Joan does not care about her bad reputation. Not that I am saying we should all just run around and become total miscreants, but sometimes we have to live a little. As a woman, I so often find myself really worrying about what other people think of me. And from time to time, I let it really affect my actions. Sometimes, it doesn’t really matter and the decision didn’t end up meaning that much to me at all in the long run. But sometimes, I end up regretting not doing what I wanted to begin with. So, am I telling you to totally go run amok? No, of course not! Always use discretion, but never deny yourself something that you truly want because someone says you can’t have it. Don’t give a damn about your bad reputation! Give a damn about what makes you happy, and then go and get it!

Thirdly, don’t ever give up on a dream. Joan Jett had to start her own record label to get big. All over the place people told her she couldn’t sing. But she is now quite possibly one of the best known females of her time. What I am trying to say is, it is really easy to just give up on a dream. It is easy to see how hard it is to get where you want to be and just give it up entirely, but don’t ever do that. Good things come to people who work their asses off for them. If everyone just stopped striving for things simply because they were difficult, no one would make anything of themselves. If Joan Jett let the record companies doubt in her abilities get her down, she would not be the rock legend she is today. Instead of giving up, she got herself into the band the Runaways. And then went on to found Blackheart Records, a record company that supports really awesome rock ladies and their really awesome girl power. So, it may take you a really long time to become a doctor, but don’t give up just because you feel as if time is going too slow. Don’t give up your dream of singing just because it isn’t practical. If you think you want to do something, go and do it! Shoot for the moon, cause even if you miss, you will land among the stars. Keep your chin up and reach for your goals, girl! You can do it!

Now, go out and be rock goddesses!

XOXO

-Cheryl

Rock of Ages.

•June 18, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I saw Rock of Ages on Saturday with my friend (and god mother through the church) Anne. It was such a fun movie. I so want to see it again.I literally was smiling and wiggle-dancing in my seat the whole time. I would first like to take a second to point out that I really love the fun mash-ups they did, and that I was extremely impressed with the way that they adjusted the vocal range of the songs to fit each and every performer. Further, the movie was very visually stunning. I loved all of the costumes and the hair and everything. In fact, the movie costumes were so good that I found myself wanting a spiked leather jacket. I kind of really love this one:

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But it is almost four hundred dollars, and as a result, I can’t really afford it just yet. I mean, I would have enough money for it if I didn’t have to REALLY make paying off my credit cards a priority. They are getting a bit out of hand. And it is entirely all my fault. I must confess to being a bit of a shopaholic. I need to go to some group like in that movie Confessions of a Shopaholic. It is actually pretty bad. But, recently, I cut up all of my cards and I am going to begin to pay them off slowly but surely. I can’t wait to be freed from the debt. It will be so so refreshing.

But anyway, back to the movie. The main thing that I was shocked about in the movie was just how well Tom Cruise did in his role. He played the middle-aged, totally drugged out rocker so well. And his VOICE!! He sang so well. All the songs that they had him perform were absolutely wonderful and well performed. Specifically his parts in the song ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’. It literally gave me goose bumps. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am just as annoyed by Tom Cruise as everyone else, but in this movie… man was he awesome. It was the second time I have ever wanted to fuck him silly (the first being when he played my favorite vampire {Lestat} in Interview with the Vampire). I don’t care if you hate him as an actor, Tom made this movie. And you all should go see it.

Second, I was absolutely in love with the performances of Russel Brand (who played Lonny) and Alec Baldwin (who played Dennis). What I really loved about this pair is t he totally fantastic sexual frustration they showed towards each other. I totally bought it, even though I would never in a million years peg Alec Baldwin as a man who would play a gay guy. BUT! The (probably) best moment in the movie was when the two of them (Russel Brand and Alec Baldwin) sang Can’t Fight This Feeling to each other. It was probably the most hilarious montage in a movie I have ever seen. And the gay kiss at the end of the song and Alec’s cheesy ‘I’m busy falling in love’ line just made me smile and totally happy and warm inside. I think that thinking about that scene all night literally just brightened up my mood.

In the end, I can’t recommend this movie enough. It isn’t serious (obviously), but it is so fun. If you are looking for a movie that is fun filled and exciting, this is the movie you want to see. Trust me. You won’t regret the decision. Unless you don’t like musicals, of course.

Tata for now, lovelies.

XOXO

-Cheryl

The Single Life.

•June 16, 2012 • Leave a Comment

So, I have been single for about two months now. At first I was kind of sad, but I am having a very busy and fulfilling life lately. I have discovered a few things about myself since I have time to focus on me and me alone. For starters, I was mostly unhappy with John. He never wanted to give me what I wanted. And I was more in love with my idea of him than I was with him. Of course, I know that he could one day be the man I thought I fell in love with, but it is going to take a lot of work on his part and it just isn’t something I am willing to wait for. He needs his time, and I am now realizing that I really need mine as well.

Lately, I have been seeing a few people. So far, I have been on two official dates, one was fabulous, one was not so great. I am actually kind of glad for the bad date and the bad experiences. I need to know what I don’t want. And when dates go badly, it is just an example of that. Of course, it is extremely awkward and painful while the date is happening, but once it is over, I like to be able to look back on it and figure out just what happened on the date that wasn’t satisfactory, rather than taking my displeasure at face value.

Of course, good dates are awesome. But I am not so sure that I am ready to really commit to anything just yet, so part of me is really hoping that none of the guys I am seeing get TOO attached to me. I am looking to enjoy myself for a while and really just take time to get to know the me I have been pushing aside for so long. I have discovered so many things that I have wanted since I became single. For instance, I really feel boring lately. I let John dictate my appearance and I feel so plain Jane. I put my guages back in, and I suspect that will be the first of a few changes that I am planning to make. I really love that I don’t have to talk to anyone about what I want to do anymore. I don’t need to consult or ask for permission. It is a great feeling of freedom, and I don’t really want to give that up any time soon.

My advice for all the girls that read this blog, is to never let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be. If someone can’t love you for who you are, then they are not worth it. People all over will disappoint you. In fact, you can’t count on anyone but yourself. You should always remember that the only person who is guaranteed to be there until you die is… well, you! So, you have to be the you you want to be; the one you can love and be proud of and show off. Because YOU are the only one that matters in the long run. YOU have to be happy. And being someone you are not is the surest way to make you miserable. Sometimes, we just need to take a deep breath and change gears and take some time to figure things out.

A program that has helped me do this is Radical Self Love Bootcamp. This program is written by the lovely Gala Darling. I suggest that you all check it out. It really works wonders! The program allows you access to the Radical Self Love Bootcamp forums, which is full of lovely, supportive ladies undertaking the same journey you are. Feel free to comment on this post if you would like any more details about it. I would be more than happy to answer any questions!

XOXO

-Cheryl

Word Vomit.

•June 15, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Everyone keeps saying that Word Press is the new place to be, so I decided to move my blog over this way. I kind of got bored of Livejournal, to be honest. It is just so much of the same thing, and not too many people use it anymore. I really like that I can pick from tons of really cool themes here. I think I will probably be sorting through the themes for the remainder of the day.

So, for all the people who will start to follow me on here that don’t know me:
For starters, my name is Cheryl. I have lived in CT all of my life, and I consider myself to be a modest, small-town kind of girl. Meaning that I tend to enjoy a quiet day sitting under a tree in the nearest park reading.

I tend to consider myself more brains than beauty. I am currently paying my own way through a Biology degree with a focus in pre-med. I am extremely driven and put 110% into all of my work and studies. I tend to set extremely high goals for myself with the mentality that even if I miss the moon, I will land among the stars. I still have about two years left of my undergrad work, due to a few financial setbacks along the way, but it is my hope to graduate as soon as I possibly can and then continue on to Med School. It is my dream to be a surgeon one day, and I don’t tend to let much get in my way.

In my free time, I am a bit of a gamer. I enjoy all sorts of games, although I tend to prefer PC games. Mostly, I am a bit of a Blizzard (a videogame company) hag and follow their products very religiously. In fact, I beta test most of their games. I also enjoy games like Borderlands and Halo for PS3 and Xbox. I like strategy games like Civilization, Role Play games like Skyrim, and Massive Multiplayer Online games, like World of Warcraft and Star Wars: The Old Republic. Further, I love card games, board games, and RP games. Such as Magic the Gathering, Small World and Settlers of Catan, and Dungeons and Dragons, respectively. So, basically, I am pretty nerdy.

I enjoy comic books, watching movies, reading, knitting, eating, and singing. I do model in my spare time, when I feel like dabbling. It also makes some pretty fast cash, and is actually fairly fun (so long as the photographer isn’t a creep). I tend to think it is fairly hilarious that I model sometimes, seeing as I tend to consider myself fashion-retarded. Regardless, I don’t do it full time, and I tend to think that I look far better in pictures than I do off camera (but that might just be girly insecurity).

I am fairly socially awkward and shy when I am first getting to know someone, but I tend to warm up fairly quickly. A lot of people tell me I am fun and easy to get along with. I honestly don’t try to be. I don’t really care what other people think about me (unless you happen to be one of my professors or a possible employer). I am extremely quirky, and I am always sure to let people see the real me because I don’t feel like I have anything to hide.

I am also extremely outspoken. I think it is important for others to know what I am really thinking, rather than keep petty secrets and talk behind the backs of others. That is not what I am about. I have been referred to many times as ‘real’ and if you don’t think you can handle a whole lot of frankness, then I am not the girl you want to be friends with.

For all of those who know me and are following me; I love you guys.

I think that is enough for my first entry!
I will be updating soon!

XOXO
-Cheryl